Dont jokes
The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"
I don't know what to say.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a big plus!
What did Robin say to Batman when they were getting chicken?
Hahaha, I don't know.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?
Because they are Sith-ters.
We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.
What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?
Black people don't shoot up schools.