Dog jokes
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?
Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.
I had to get my dog. Is it a tree? Was your time and I had fun today after dinner. I had...
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A: A Chihuahua.
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Why is Sonic so fat? He eats too many chili dogs.