Dog jokes

SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"

Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"

Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...

My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."

So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.

My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.

I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...

She said nothing.

It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

What happened when the dog played golf?

He hit the ball into the ruff.

There's nothing else that can beat up dog.

What's up, dog?

Just my depression!

What do dogs do when they lose their tail?

They go to the retail store.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."

Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.

Dog: *frown*

Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]

What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.

Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.

What does an orphan and a dog have in common?

Both got taken from their parents.

A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.

Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

What do you call a suspicious dog?

A sussy bark-er.

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."