DOE jokes
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
Why does five plus five equal eleven?
Because it's actually six.
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Students: "Meat."
Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"
Students: "Bacon."
Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"
One of the students: "Homework!"
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
What does a website have that an orphan doesn't? A home.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
This is two heads.
Deaf. "Deep water." ""
- "78 years."
Are you interested again? ""
"If you go ... you are there."
"No. 85 is good."
What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.
What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaaaaay!
If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?
Q. How much cum does a gay guy have?
A. A butt load.
Why does the kid in the wheelchair get bullied all the time?
Because he can’t stand up for himself.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
Why do orphans only have Samsung's? Because they don't have a home button.
Why does an orphan love to go to church?
Because they have someone to call father.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.