DOE jokes
What does Biden do? He does you.
What does do something useful unlike you?
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?
Asgard.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
What is it called if your mom does not make it to your birth?...
An abortion.
[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”
Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”
God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”
Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?
A: Because they can't find home.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts!
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
What does Meg do when she gets a cold sore?
She bathes in diarrhea.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
How much cum does a gay guy have?
An ass loaded.
Why does America suck at Clash of Clans?
They already lost two towers.