DOE jokes
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
Why does America suck at chess?
They lost two towers.
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
"Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence."
How does Jesus whistle?
By blowing through the holes in his hands.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.