DOE jokes

Son

    • Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.

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    • Charge

    • What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.

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    • Pistol

    • Me: How does this thing work?

    ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.

    ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*

    Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.

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    • Dick

    • How do you suck a dick?

    Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.

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    • Bedtime

    • Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

    Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

    Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

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    • Light Bulb

    • How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?

    I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.

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    • Son

    • A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"

    "HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.

    "No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"

    "Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"

    Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."

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    • Cop

    • How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.

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