DOE jokes
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.
How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb? IT JUST DOES!!!!
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?
He likes to hit small white balls.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.
Now for my joke...
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
Because he never lands.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"