DOE jokes
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? Little skin flutes.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
Where do animal does Russian milk come from?
"Moscows".
What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock?
Spit out the feathers.
Why does the nucleus feel trapped?
Because it’s inside a cell!
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".