DOE jokes
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
How does a non-binary ninja slay enemies?
They/Them.
How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?
Why does nobody talk to the letter G?
Because it's always in the middle of awkward!
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
What does a furry call a sexy furry?
A foxy lady!
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!
How does a rapper make tea?
He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
How does a rapper stay warm in the winter?
With some HOT TRACKS!