DOE jokes
What does NASA stand for?
Neil Armweak Sorry Armstrong.
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
What runs but does not walk? It's water.
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
Why does this exist?
I apologize if those jokes didn't meet your expectations. Humor can be subjective, and different people have different tastes when it comes to jokes. I'll try my best to share a few more jokes with you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be called bagels!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
I hope these bring a bit more amusement. Let me know if there's anything else I can assist you with!
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
What does an orphan call home?
Nothing. 🤣
Teacher: What does the pig give us? Student: Bacon.
Teacher: Very good. How about the chicken? Student: Meat.
Teacher: Good, now what would a fat cow give you? Student: Homework.