DOE jokes
Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
What soda do mountains drink? Mountain Dew.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
Q. What does Jeffrey Epstein get his sex partners for their birthday? A. Crayons.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
Why does this exist?