DOE jokes
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
What does 1nan + 1nan = 2 smelly fucking dusty dumb fuck nans?
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
What soda do mountains drink? Mountain Dew.
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
What kind of car does Pikachu drive?
A Volts-wagon.
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?
Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.