DOE jokes
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
Why does Satan worship himself?
Jesus told him to worship God.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL
Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.
What does FNAF stand for? Five Nasty Ass Fools.
What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?
Stiff chocolate.
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
What does 1nan + 1nan = 2 smelly fucking dusty dumb fuck nans?
Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.