DOE jokes
Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.
What do you call a gay man that performs fellatio on a man and cunnilingus on a woman, a person who is curious about male bisexuality, a man that is bicurious?
Does it cycle now?
Why does Saturn have a ring?
Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it.
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
A guy is due to meet his friends for drinks at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.
The guy says, "Well, you won't believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks, "So... did you get any head?"
The guy replies, "No, I couldn't find it."
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock?
Spit out the feathers.
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!
What does your head come out of... your brain?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, if you throw it hard enough.
How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Students: "Meat."
Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"
Students: "Bacon."
Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"
One of the students: "Homework!"
How does a donkey open a door?
With a don-key.