DOE jokes

What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?

“You got nice buns!”

What does "bitch" mean?

Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"

What day does Venus like?

SATURNday.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?

A. A dino-snore.

What kind of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.

If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?

What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?

Survival Guilt.

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

An irrel-elephant ;)

If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?

What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?

John fucked them both in the rear.

What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?

Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"

Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.

Mom: "Okay, any questions?"

Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."

Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."

Where does a banana learn to split?

At sundae school!

Why does no one like Hitler when he goes to the movies?

Because he would count, "zehn, neun", and then it would all turn green.

People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.

What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."

How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?

4

Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"

The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"

A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"