DOE jokes
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.
"Ligma" is a disease, so does that mean "ligma balls?"
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:
I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
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How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.