DOE jokes
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
Why does my mum eat carrots?
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
What kind of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
Jesus Christ does exist, he does, and he is the son of God... a God that doesn't exist XD
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.