DOE jokes
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being dark.
How does water say hi?
It waves.
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup.