Man Goes To The Doctor He Has A Banana sticking out of one ear , a carrot stinking out of the other ear and a green been stinking out of one nostrils. "Doctor, I'm not feeling well" the man complains. " Well, it's no wonder" The Doctor replies " You're not eating right"
Doctor: you'll be at peace soon, sir. Me: what am I dying? Doctor: no your wife is.
Patient: doctor every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up what's wrong with me? Doctor: I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
Patient: where are you taking me, doctor? Doctor: the morgue Patient: hang on! I'm not dead yet! Doctor: and we're not there yet!
When you were born, you were so ugly, that the doctors slapped your parents. 👏🏻
Michael Jakson gets really ill so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there he says 'am i in heaven?' The doctor replies 'Nah sir we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward.'
Day 70 without s3x my doctor asked me “are you s3xually active?” I said “why what u tryna do?”
I bet when you were born the doctor looked away because of your virginity.
You’re forehead so big when you were being born the doctors thought you had no face
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!" "Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient. "Give me the good news first," the patient said. "Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live." "That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "I've been trying to reach you for two days."
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
Yo so small that wen you go the doctor he doesn’t no you there
A Doctor walks into his office and look his paitent in the eyes "Sir you have to stop Jerking off." The Man ask "Why?" The Doctor then says "Because im trying to examin you."
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said i cant treat you, the boy asked why, and the doctor said because im a family doctor.
What did the bird to the hospital for? For tweetment!
What do priest and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
What did the cancer doctor say You just got a new Christmas present
Cancer
