Doctor jokes
If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?
Alps clear the mind! Haha.
I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.
Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍
Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:
"The doctor has now sent me the bill."
"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"
An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.
Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."
The doctor had an ego so big, it fell into the ocean fast.
Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
What do you call a rapper who’s also a DOCTOR?
MC Healer.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?
The thief knows what you have!
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places.