One day, there are Friends having fun, hours later one of the friends Alice, wanted to leave and say *cya guys am just gonna hangin in the tree and have some fresh air* and they all agree hours go by and the group of friends are ready to go home but then seen a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
Me : “You guys wanna know a cool fact?” Friend 1 : “Yeah” Friend 2 : “Yea” Me : “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.” Friend 3 : “I love anime.” Friend 1 & 2 : “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Me : *Laughs at Friend 3*
Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.
Why’d the snake cross the road? It was in the chickens butt.
What do you get if you talk to a down syndrome face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
Your mum is so fat all her relationships are long distanced
What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing? Your hairline.
Yo mama so fat that she’s social distancing from herself
Raju: How about you Sunil
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju : Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he
Nagpur
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society. They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
why are cheetahs the best animals? The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour. A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds. Cheetahs are extremely fast however they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue. Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms. One way to always recognise a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances. Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs. While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day. A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away. Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision. With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight. Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
WHEN DID I RELIZE COVID WAS SERIOUS
WHEN I SAW UR TEETH SOCAIL DISTANCING
Friend: what are you doing me: putting peanut butter on my balls. Friend hears in the distance, orphans I have food for you
I did not believe in covid 19 until I saw your teeth social distancing
Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can
Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance Misses a pen From close distance
Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!
Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road?
Social Distancing.
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento" When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance. "See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow. The second crows takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it." "How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow. "Look at it's hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.
33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish. “I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish. “I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home. “I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here."
34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. “Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?” “I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."
