Distance

Distance Jokes

Dog

I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I walk 5 miles each day.

But today I ran OVER 5 miles... oops!

Astronaut

What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?

They are always so distant! :-]

Sun

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

Snail

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

Midget

You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.

  • 0
  • Giraffe

    Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?

    Because its head is so far away from its body.

    Tree

    One day, there are friends having fun.

    Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."

    And they all agree.

    Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.

    Dog

    I named my dog "5 miles," so now I can tell people I walk "5 miles" everyday. 😏😎

    Mum

    Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.

    Hairline

    Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.