Distance jokes
I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I walk 5 miles each day.
But today I ran OVER 5 miles... oops!
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
Memes
Girls be like
Your hairline is so far back I need binoculars to see it!
Your hairline is pushed back farther than G.T.A. 6.
Your hairline is so far back, just like your dad is from you.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
I named my dog "5 miles," so now I can tell people I walk "5 miles" everyday. 😏😎
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.