Disease jokes
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.
If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?
COVID-19 is like pasta.
Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"
Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...
I had amnesia once... maybe twice.
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...
Wait, where are we again?
My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.
AIDS?
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed receiving medical treatment soon after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit Bob and told him this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb peaking mountains, and cross low valleys."
Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.