Disease jokes
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
What zodiac sign has no hair?
Cancer.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
Me after hearing
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
What's long and not very hairy?
The conga line at the cancer department.
How do you get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.