Disease

Disease jokes

Seizure

Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?

A: Throw in some laundry.

Cancer

Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.

Leper

Why did they call off the leper hockey game?

There was a face-off in the corner.

  • 0
  • Cancer

    Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.

    Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?

    Oh, it's still cancer.

    Cancer

    1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.

    2: I'm dying, finally.

    3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.

    On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/

    Cancer

    When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,

    You respond: "cancer."

    Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"

    Doctor

    Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

    Patient: Good news!

    Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.

    Bitch

    So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

    So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

  • 4
  • Cancer

    Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"

    Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"

    Doctor

    Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

    Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

    Grandma

    My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.