Disease jokes
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
What zodiac sign has no hair?
Cancer.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Memes
What's long and not very hairy?
The conga line at the cancer department.
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
How do you get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"
Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.