Disease jokes
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
Every zodiac sign has a different hairstyle except Cancer.
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
What zodiac sign has no hair?
Cancer.
Memes
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
What's long and not very hairy?
The conga line at the cancer department.
How do you get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.
Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...