Disease jokes
What's Technoblade's actual Zodiac Sign?
Cancer!
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."
What’s the difference between cancer and my brother?
My brother didn’t beat cancer.
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "John." "John who?" John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
What's a cancer patient's favorite food?
Kentucky Fried Chemotherapy
COVID-19 is like pasta.
Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
What's the most expensive haircut?
Chemotherapy.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS.
What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"Don't worry, you can keep the tip."