Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
Disease Jokes
What zodiac sign has no hair?
Cancer.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
What's long and not very hairy?
The conga line at the cancer department.
How do you get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"
Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
