Disease jokes
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
Want one way to get a free haircut?
Call the cancer hotline.
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
What is the American virus? Diabetes.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.
Question: What’s bald and is in a straight line?
Answer: The cancer ward. 😵😂😂
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.