Disease jokes
What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
Monke
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What’s the difference between cancer and my brother?
My brother didn’t beat cancer.
I have more respect for cancer than depression, because cancer has the balls to kill me himself.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat the cancer.
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His shoulder.
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!