Disease jokes
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
What’s the difference between cancer and my brother?
My brother didn’t beat cancer.
Monke
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
I have more respect for cancer than depression, because cancer has the balls to kill me himself.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat the cancer.
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His shoulder.
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"Don't worry, you can keep the tip."
So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!
All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.