Disease jokes
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle, except Cancer.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
What do you call two Hispanics with Parkinson's disease?
Maracas.
What do you call a son of Gilgamesh that hates flashy lights? The epileptic of Gilgamesh.
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
What’s positive in Africa?
HIV/AIDS.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
I have more respect for cancer than depression, because cancer has the balls to kill me himself.
What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?
The guy that gave it to him.
What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.