One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully of him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying "I fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease. Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other "What do you think about that mad cow disease". The other replies "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole.".
What’s the world’s most diseased country?
GerMany
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
I wish i did't have depression because all my friends have BBC Bitch be crazy disease.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer doesn't leave you.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
history teacher: They had a temporary cure for the disease , but it would be years before the found a cure for life. Student: I need that.
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.
How do you get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
This disabled kid walked up to me so I asked what disease he had. He said Lima. So I said, come again? And he said Lima nuts and I asked if that was a fruit and he said. No I'm a vegetable.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
