Disease jokes
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
If you have cancer, you are gay.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the WiFi router.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
A joke, huh?
My sense of humor.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
"Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "It's Dave!"
"Dave who?"
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.