Disease jokes
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*
Q: You have problems, I think your disease is BOOFA.
Q: What boofa?
A: Boofa deez nuts in yo mouth!
And the Lord said onto John, "Come forth to receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
If you have cancer, you are gay.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the WiFi router.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
A joke, huh?
My sense of humor.