Disease jokes
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football?
Because he got all the downs.
TDS? More like STDs.
Cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he.
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*
Q: You have problems, I think your disease is BOOFA.
Q: What boofa?
A: Boofa deez nuts in yo mouth!
And the Lord said onto John, "Come forth to receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
If you have cancer, you are gay.