Disease jokes

Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.

Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?

A: Tumor.

What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?

A child with epilepsy.

Why did Stephen Hawking walk across the road? Oh wait...

I have more STDs than Hicks has friends at the moment. I only have one.

"Ligma" is a disease, so does that mean "ligma balls?"

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a child?

Hot Wheels.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels.

What game hurts you the more stages you survive?

Cancer.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Rabid cow.

Rabid cow who?

Hold on, I need to get my gun....

Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football?

Because he got all the downs.

TDS? More like STDs.

Cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer.

Why did the leper fail his driving test?

He left his foot on the clutch.

Me and my cancer

Are like a game of Fortnite.

I’ll never win.

Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?

Neither has he.

What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!

God creates a wasp :)

God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.

Angel: okay... a bug.

God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.

Angel: weird.. but okay...

God: and give it wings.

Angel: eh, not half bad Go-

God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS

Angel: *shook* o-okay

God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.

Angel: . - .

God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*

Angel: *cries*

Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*

Q: You have problems, I think your disease is BOOFA.

Q: What boofa?

A: Boofa deez nuts in yo mouth!

And the Lord said onto John, "Come forth to receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.