Disease jokes
Do you know about the new movie Disney made just for cancer kids? It's called Finding Kemo.
What can you catch, but not throw?
Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."
And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.
Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
Whatβs the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
Did you know one of the singers of YMCA had AIDS? Y-M-C-AIDS.
Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!
What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
If just Africa had more mosquito nets, millions of innocent mosquitoes could be saved from a horrible death of AIDS.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.