Disease jokes
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
If just Africa had more mosquito nets, millions of innocent mosquitoes could be saved from a horrible death of AIDS.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
What is the American virus? Diabetes.
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
Doctor: "What's your zodiac sign?"
Patient: "Cancer?"
Doctor: "What a coincidence."
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...
Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.
But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!