Disease jokes
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
What is the American virus? Diabetes.
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
Doctor: "What's your zodiac sign?"
Patient: "Cancer?"
Doctor: "What a coincidence."
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...
Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.
But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What do you call a kid with cancer? Limited.
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.