Disease jokes
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
Doctor: "What's your zodiac sign?"
Patient: "Cancer?"
Doctor: "What a coincidence."
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...
Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.
But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What do you call a kid with cancer? Limited.
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat the cancer.
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.