Disease jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!
What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
If just Africa had more mosquito nets, millions of innocent mosquitoes could be saved from a horrible death of AIDS.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
What is the American virus? Diabetes.
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer…
All of the bristles fell out!
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
Doctor: "What's your zodiac sign?"
Patient: "Cancer?"
Doctor: "What a coincidence."
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...
Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.
But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.