Disaster jokes

What do you call a Titan who can't swim?

Titanic!

Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.

What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.

It was September 10, 2001, when I stayed up watching TV shows.

I woke up late for work at The World Trade Center, but it was burning. I said out loud, "I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean... I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.

Famous last words.

Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”

When you realize the shuttle blew up.

Then you realize you're on the shuttle.

"Black midget porn is in 911."

I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.

He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.

Your mum's so fat, she's the iceberg that sunk the Titanic!

My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.

People in 1912: The Titanic is unsinkable!

Iceberg: Hold my beer.

This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."

My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.

Where did Alice go during the explosion?

Everywhere.

Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.

I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!

The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!

How did they lose 2 Towers?

Reason: They just fell, just like how it did in Jenga.

(I d*n't care if it's a bad joke, ok?)

I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.

It didn't land well.

You're so fat, you caused the Titanic to sink!

What does the Titanic sell most?

Icebreakers.

I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.