Disaster jokes
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
How does a terrorist feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane."
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they went through 91 stories in 11.2 seconds.
Why are planes the most dangerous killers?
Because they killed 2,996 people in 10-25 minutes.
Tried making 9/11 jokes, but none of it kept falling apart.
How 9/11 Happened!:
Hey Bush, Truth or dare?
Who are the fastest readers on Earth?
The pilots flying the 9/11 planes. They went through 6 stories in 5 seconds.
These jokes crash and burn.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
Is your home the Twin Towers? Because I'm tryna crash!
If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is literally just a scoreboard.
Q. What is the Titanic's favorite food?
A. Ice burger.
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
What was racing through people's minds during 9/11?
Probably a plane. (:
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.