Disaster jokes
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
I like the iceberg... my favorite character was the iceberg!
Why did the Titanic sink? It loved the iceberg!
When I was on the Titanic, I got broken.
I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
Yo mama so fat, she sunk the Titanic.
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world? Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.