Disaster jokes
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
Were you born on a highway? Because that's where accidents mostly happen.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What did the beachgoers in North Carolina say when there was a tsunami?
Nothing, they died.
Before: Caring & Noble.
After: Chernobyl.
Want to watch Titanic?
No, I'm not on board for it.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
When there’s an earthquake, coffins become underground maracas.
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes!
It was not a hijack, it was Stephen Hawking.