Disaster jokes
Were you born on a highway? Because that's where accidents mostly happen.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What did the beachgoers in North Carolina say when there was a tsunami?
Nothing, they died.
Before: Caring & Noble.
After: Chernobyl.
Want to watch Titanic?
No, I'm not on board for it.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
When there’s an earthquake, coffins become underground maracas.
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes!
It was not a hijack, it was Stephen Hawking.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
The Titanic was in a pickle when they saw the iceberg.
Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.