Disabled jokes
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
Why did the wheels not move on his wheelchair?
Because he had no legs.
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
Why do disabled people make good golfers?
Because they're always handicapped.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
What do you call a bunch of microcephalics in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
What kind of pizza can't an orphan order?
Familiar pizza.
I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared?
Because 10 was in 9/11.
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair and screamed, "Rocket League!"
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Anything they can't catch you.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."