Disabled jokes
What do you call a disabled person called Gerald?
GERALD!
I gave a blind person a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
Why do disabled people make good golfers?
Because they're always handicapped.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
Why did the disabled chicken cross the road?
To get its wheelchair!
Where are people sent to die?
Ross Hall academy.
What did the Blonde say to the other Blonde?
They don’t know; they couldn’t figure out what to say.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He lost WiFi connection.
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
What do you call a pool full of black kids? Baths bomb.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.