Disability jokes
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Neither did she.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!