Disability jokes
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
My name is Bishal Khan and I can't walk.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker đź–• that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
Why are Liverpool not disabled friendly?
They never walk alone.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
Helen Keller walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and a wall.
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
What do you call a deaf person?
Whatever you want!
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"