Disability jokes
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
You can say what you want about deaf people...
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
I have no legs.
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.