Disability jokes
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?
Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.