Disability jokes
Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
What was the scariest thing Helen Keller ever read?
The waffle iron.
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
You can say what you want about deaf people...
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.