Disability jokes
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
What did the autistic man order at McDonald’s?
Ass Burgers.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!