Disability jokes
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
Santa Claus gives a child a bike. The child was mad. Why? He had no legs.
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there were stairs.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the Wi-Fi cord.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."