Disability jokes
What do you call Autistic kids baking?
"Downies" with brownies.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, a chair, and a table.
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
What do you call a deaf person?
Whatever you want!
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Helen Keller walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and a wall.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!
Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Neither did she.