Disability jokes
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.