Disability jokes
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
You can say what you want about deaf people...
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
I have no legs.
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/