Disability jokes
What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him for a drag.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.
I once told a blind orphan, "Hey, look at the bright side!"
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
Q: What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
A: Putting them back in their wheelchair.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He lost WiFi connection.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
"Rueben Glover is a Steven Hawking spastic."
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
God: “Stephen, join us!”
*sees the staircase to heaven.*
Stephen: “Shit!”
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.