Disability jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?
Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."