Disability jokes
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Disabled.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
What was the scariest thing Helen Keller ever read?
The waffle iron.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!