Disability jokes
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
Memes
I really like
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?
Special forces.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.