Disability jokes
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?
Special forces.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
I can't stand disability jokes.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.