Disability jokes

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal? His left shoulder.

I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.

What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.

What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.

What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?

Windows shutting down.

What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.

What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?

Walking.

People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.

She can't see the obvious.

The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.

I got sent to the principal's office after telling the kid in the wheelchair to do a wheelie.

Is it possible to stutter in sign language?

Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.

What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?

Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?

Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.

What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?

Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?

A baked potato.

Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.

Why did the leper fail his driving test?

He left his foot on the clutch.

I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.

Why can't Sally swing?

Because she has no arms.

Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.

Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?

Everywhere.