Disability jokes
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Who here plays blox fruits?
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.