Disability jokes
People in wheelchairs need to stand up for themselves.
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
When my girlfriend broke up with me, I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back.
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.