Disability jokes
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
People in wheelchairs need to stand up for themselves.
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
When my girlfriend broke up with me, I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back.
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
Helen Keller.
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.