Disability jokes
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
When my girlfriend broke up with me, I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back.
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
Helen Keller.
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!