Disability jokes

What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?

An RCXD.

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.

He said it was the most violent book he ever read.

What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?

Special Forces.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Neither of 'em can see their parents.

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?

Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?

Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.

I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.

I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.

What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"

I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.

What do you call a disabled person who gets high?

Baked potato.

What sucks about disabled people?

They can't stand up for themselves.

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I’m just kidding.

What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?

The robot.

What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?

None. Neither can see their parents.

Steven Hawking had dark humor.

Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.

I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)

A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.