Disability jokes
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
What do you call a downie superhero?
Chromo-doner.
Have you seen the inside of Helen Keller's houses? She hasn't.
What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?
Vegetable soup.
Trump should be grateful for DEI.
How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a police officer?
Because he can't use a walkie-talkie.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.
What is Helen Keller's son's name? Hrrrrrrr.
What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.