Disability jokes

Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?

Fast food.

What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.

What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.

What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.

I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.

I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.

Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?

Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.

What do you say to a depressed special kid?

“Why so down?”

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.

What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?

Special Forces.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Neither of 'em can see their parents.

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.

He said it was the most violent book he ever read.

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?

What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?

An RCXD.

What sucks about disabled people?

They can't stand up for themselves.

What part of a vegetable can you not eat?

The wheelchair.

What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"