Disability jokes
Dyslexic man walks into a bra.
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither of 'em can see their parents.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.