Disability jokes

What do you call a person with no arms?

Armless.

No, it's harmless.

I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.

What do you call a disabled person who gets high?

Baked potato.

How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.

Have you ever seen a blind man swim?

Neither has he.

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I’m just kidding.

What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?

The robot.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...

What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

What was Helen Keller's favorite color?

Velcro.

What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?

None. Neither can see their parents.

Steven Hawking had dark humor.

Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.

Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...

...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.

Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.

If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

What do you call a disabled Chinese person?

Sum Ting Wong.

What do you call a cut cucumber?

A guy with no legs.

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.

Why did God build a stairway to heaven?

So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."