Disability jokes

What was Helen Keller's favorite color?

Velcro.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...

What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

What do you say to a depressed special kid?

“Why so down?”

Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.

If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

What do you call a disabled Chinese person?

Sum Ting Wong.

What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."

So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.

I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"

What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.

What do you call a cut cucumber?

A guy with no legs.

So a blind man walks into a bar.

At least he thinks so.

People say I should be proud of my autism, but truth be told, I'm only in it for the help in class.

Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?

... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.

Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?

From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.

I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?

You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.