Disability jokes
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither of 'em can see their parents.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
I’m just kidding.
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.