Disability jokes
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi connection.
Memes
Stephen Hawking didn’t die.
His charger broke.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!
We don't read backwards.
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
Dyslexic man walks into a bra.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."