Disability jokes

We don't read backwards.

Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.

If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?

Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?

Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?

He couldn’t stand anyone...

Why can't a blind person eat fish?

They can't see food.

I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.

Dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.

What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?

They both cannot see their family.

Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.

Have you ever seen a blind man swim?

Neither has he.

How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.

What do you call a person with no arms?

Armless.

No, it's harmless.

What part of a vegetable can you not eat?

The wheelchair.

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.

What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.