Disability jokes

Why did the disabled kid cross the road?

(Why?)

He can't.

What do Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie have in common?

Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.

Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.

The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.

What position would a man with no legs and arms play in baseball?

Home base.

She asked:

"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"

Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

Oh, neither did he.

How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.

This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."

So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."

My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"

So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.

A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."

Why did God build a stairway to heaven?

So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.

Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.

Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?

Because when it beeps, it's him!

What’s impossible?

Steven Walkings.

When a sign says "Do Not Walk on the Grass," it does not apply to Stephen Hawking.