Disability jokes
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
You can say what you want about deaf people...
You know how Stephen is smart, which class did he skip?
Leg day.
A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite drink?
His dribble.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.
What did Stephen Hawking love that couldn't move?
Himself, ps particularly his whole body. I was gonna say his legs, but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.