Disability jokes
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall.
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?
Because she had no arms.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
...
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
"m m, ,m ,mbjbjb" is how she spelled.