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Disability jokes

Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?

A: So she can moan with the other.

  • 9

    • A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."

    I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.

    How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?

  • 0

    • Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.

    Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.

    Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.

  • 1

    • What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?

    Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.

  • 3

    • I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.

    There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.

    At least Stephen Hawking does something.