Difference jokes

What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?

They're both gay and use knives.

Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?

Friends: What?

Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.

What is the difference between a redhead and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist!

It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."

What’s harder than steel?

Michael Jackson in a playground.

One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.

I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.

What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.

What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?

...

I'm still trying to think of an answer.

What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?

Only one gets fuel.

You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)

What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?

A belly button.

What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?

My stepdad did beat cancer.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.

Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.

What's the difference between Canada and the USA?

In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.

In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein?

Only difference between Michael and Jeffrey is Epstein wasn't a smooth criminal, and Michael was.

What’s the difference between orphans and cars?

I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.

What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?

One eats tape while the other eats pussy.

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

One is a superhero, and the other is a simple command.