Difference jokes

You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)

What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.

What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?

My stepdad did beat cancer.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.

What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.

What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?

5% of atheists have seen a ghost.

5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?

The devil always has horns... not just around children.

What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One of them is picked.

What’s the difference between orphans and cars?

I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.

What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?

Not much difference.

What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?

One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.

Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.

What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.

What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?

One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.

What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?

Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!

What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?

Candy is something everybody wants.

What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|

What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?

Nothing, they are both just memories.