Difference jokes

I troll under different usernames. I'm a bit all over the place mentally.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?

You cry when you cut an onion.

What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?

One falls, while the other hangs.

What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.

What is the difference between 9/11 and rickrolling?

The Twin Towers gave up and let down.

What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?

One is Super. The other is just soup.

What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?

The viola burns longer.

What’s the difference between a dog and parents?

If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.

You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...

Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...

What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?

I haven’t banged a hooker.

What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.

What's the difference between Monday and a dick?

They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.

What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.