Difference jokes

What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?

The bird can fly off the roof.

Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?

A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.

What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?

At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.

You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.

What's the difference between a baby and a brick?

A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.

What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?

One stops sucking when you smack it.

What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?

Puberty waits for the blow up.

What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?

Georgie floated!

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.

Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.

What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.

What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?

The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.

What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?

Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.

What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*

What's the difference between a black person and an apple?

An apple chooses to hang.

What's the difference between an apple and a black man?

Apples look better hanging on a tree.