Difference jokes
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.
What's the difference between an orphan and Spider-Man?
There's no way home.
Memes
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?
The bird can fly off the roof.
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
What's the difference between a baby and a brick?
A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.
What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?
Georgie floated!
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?
Puberty waits for the blow up.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.