Difference jokes

Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?

A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.

What's the difference between an orphan and Spider-Man?

There's no way home.

What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?

You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.

What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?

The bird can fly off the roof.

What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?

About a few thousand miles.

What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?

At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.

You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.

What's the difference between a baby and a brick?

A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.

What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?

One stops sucking when you smack it.

What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?

Georgie floated!

What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?

Puberty waits for the blow up.

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.

Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?

A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.

What's the difference between a black person and an apple?

An apple chooses to hang.

What's the difference between an apple and a black man?

Apples look better hanging on a tree.

What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?

Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.