Difference jokes
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?
Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!
I troll under different usernames. I'm a bit all over the place mentally.
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet? Beets stain your teeth.
What's the difference between a priest and a rapist?
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
What's the difference between a baby and a brick?
A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.
What's white on top and black on the bottom? Society.
What's the difference between a bird and jam?
You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.
A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"
The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."
Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family picture.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
What’s the difference between Hitler and a bug?
Nothing.
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."