Difference jokes

What is the difference between whores and nuns?

Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.

What is the difference between cremation and smoking?

While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.

What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?

Your dick shots longer.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field?

One has a home.

What is the difference between a car and a tree?

A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.

What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?

A white octopus isn't in the KKK!

Hey guys, thank you for finding this. Vote in the thumbs up or thumbs down whether you prefer Reese’s cups or Starbursts, and comment if you have a different preference! I would like to know a little about people! Thanks, Izzy.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"

What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?

Your nan's a GILF!

We’ve got to celebrate our differences! 👻🤝🐵🤝🍚🤝🌮🤝💣🤝🏳️‍🌈🤝🍔🤝🥖🤝🍕

What’s the difference between football and rape?

Women don’t like football.

What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?

A penis always goes in the hole.

What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?

Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.

Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.

Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"

What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?

One's a good year and one's a great year.

What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.

The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.

What's the difference between a bird and a fly?

A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!

What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?

Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.