Difference jokes
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?
When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?
Nothing, they both can’t breathe.
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!
What’s the difference between an orphan and a sugar donut?
People want donuts.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
What’s the difference between a mediocre thief and professional thief?
The mediocre thief will say “give me all your money!”
And a professional thief will say “sign here please.”
What is a good night? Sleep tight, I have four.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pokemon?
People choose Pokemon.
What’s the difference between a Jew and an American? The American makes it out of camp.
What's the difference between a businessman and a businesswoman? Wo!
Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?
Answer: 16
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
Three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat would be closed.
Stranger 3: How to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?
Stranger 1: You can't!
Stranger 2: You can.
Stranger 3: How?
Stranger 2: By using the same idea of the Russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff, but the difference is that he can sleep, and he will have food for 30 days and a toilet, too.
Stranger 3: Great idea, but who can we try first?
Stranger 1: You all gays are evil monsters.
Stranger 2: I think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy. Let's try this experi-
(The chat has been closed by stranger 1)