Difference jokes

What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.

The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.

What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?

One's a good year and one's a great year.

Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.

Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"

What's the difference between a bird and a fly?

A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!

What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?

Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.

What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...

A female cow doesn't have a dick.

Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.

Student one orphan: I don't have any.

Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?

Student one orphan: What!

Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.

What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?

I've never sucked on dicks.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?

A dog gets adopted.

All-star gay mix

Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.

Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.

So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.

Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.

It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.

The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!

Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.

What's the difference between Black and White people?

Blacks don't need N-Word Passes.

What is the difference between an orphan and a snake?

A snake has a home to go to underground.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

What is the difference between a human and a tree?

And walk, walk home, and...

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

What's the difference between a dick and a rock?

One's hard.

What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?

Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.