Difference jokes
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What's the difference between a boy and gold?
More people want gold.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.