Difference jokes
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?
"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."