Difference jokes
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
What’s the difference between Jimmy and a normal kid? Jimmy is fat.
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
What’s the difference between women and condoms?
There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."