Difference jokes
What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
What's the difference between a black & a white fairy tale? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, "Y'all mutherfuckers ain't gonna believe this shit."
What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?
I don't know, what?
They are both purple except for the elephant.
What's the difference between Spongebob and a feminist?
A feminist has hair.
What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?
One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.
What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?
It just doesn't work...
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.